Today Tomorrow Tonigt

Today I am in the shadows. Today the darkness consumes. Today I cower in fear. Today weighs heavy on my mind. Today my memories haunt me. Today the screams and moans of the dying ring inside my ears. Today I can’t stop crying. Today I want to die. 

Tomorrow will better. Tomorrow I will be stronger. Tomorrow I will smile. Tomorrow there will be laughter and joy. Tomorrow I will want to live. 

But first I must survive tonight. 


I’m confused

So I’ve had a sudden influx of followers. I’m not complaining about my growing popularity, but the new followers have me scratching my head. The majority of them appear to be (from looking at their blogs) very religious. 

I don’t particularly care who follows me, and I believe to each their own. Believe what works for you, read and write what you enjoy. I am just unsure why so many devout believers would choose to follow the blog of someone who obviously believes that god does not exist. Someone who writes so freely about dark matters and suicide etc. 

perhaps I am fuel for your own writings, or maybe examples for sermons at church on Sunday.  


My Costume My Play

I have become something I despise

Wearing my words like a disguise

But they no longer fit

Like a suit that has been altered

How many times have I  faltered

My whole life is just a skit

A play in which I’m not even the star

With a story that is too bizarre

My role is just a bit

Still I wear these misshapen words

Performing for the mindless herds

Although I want to quit