One Lovely Blog Award

This is not my kind of thing, but my friend Lennon Carlyle nominated me and I’m honored to respond. I the randomness of her blog. Check her out at www.fabulouswithglitches.wordpress.com/

There are three rules with this One Lovely Blog Award…..

* Link the person that nominated you to this entry/post.

* Share seven things about yourself.

* Nominate some of your favorite bloggers.

Seven things about me..

  1. I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder and am a recovering self mutilator
  2. I am an ARMY vet  with multiple tours
  3. I prefer anonymity to fame
  4. I am a hopeless romantic (meaning I try to be romantic, but it never works because I have caviar dreams and a spam budget)
  5. I am an outdoor enthusiast, if it puts the sun in my face and brings me close to nature I LOVE IT!!
  6. I am an avid hunter and have not bought beef in over 10 years (we live on deer around here)
  7. I had a very hard time writing this because I hate to talk about myself

Blogs I love!!!!

https://thepetalblog.wordpress.com/ – New blogger who deserves 1000 followers

https://wetblissdotme.wordpress.com/ – HOT HOT HOT

https://teenswrite2teens.wordpress.com/ – talented young writer who will be HUGE some day

https://thoughtswithdildo.wordpress.com/ – Writer of sexy things

https://dancingintherain32.wordpress.com/ – I call her “little one” and her strength and determination amaze me with every single post. She wise well beyond her years and more beautiful inside and out than she realizes.

There are many others, but I have tried to nominate people that have not been nominated yet (that I have seen)


Oddessy of the mind

All our lives,
we have believed.
Since time began,
we’ve been deceived.
I know the truth,
is there find.
In the oddessy,
of the mind.
hate, and greed,
are ignorance spawn,
and stupidities seed.
We could save,
all mankind.
With the oddessy,
of the mind.
is what we lack.
Because society,
holds us back.
We could break,
the chains that bind.
With the oddessy,
of the mind


I miss

I see the you

That others miss

I miss your face

I miss your kiss

You’re above all

My first choice

I miss your smile

I miss your voice

You think your pedestal

Is far too much

I miss your presence

I miss your touch

It’s you alone

I wish to serve

You’re so much more

Then I deserve


I Often Wonder

I often wonder, how death feels
To suddenly stop, life’s spinning wheels
I often wonder, how death sounds
Will I hear barking, from Hell’s hounds
I often wonder, if there’s a God
Or if that book, is just a fraud
I often wonder, why we hate
Is it just a human trait
I often wonder, why we love
That one emotion I am free of
I often wonder, am I insane
Was I born with a rotten brain


So Alone

I’m so alone, on this Earth

Drowning in solitude, since my birth

People are known, for company shared

You left me here, you never cared

Alone I sit, planning my demise

No tears for me, because everyone dies

I’m not so special, I’m not unique

One of millions, another freak

In this sideshow, you call living

But unlike you, I am not forgiving

I hate my future, I run from my past

Until the time comes, I’m dead at last


Maggie (A Character Description Jonathan’s wife)

Hello my name is Maggie and I am a raving lunatic. Ok, maybe not a raving lunatic, but I sure as hell am not the picture of sanity. Do you have any idea how it feels to live in fear of the one person you can never escape… yourself? Of course you don’t, because normal people aren’t afraid they will hurt themselves at any given moment, with any object that just happens to be in their hands. I suffer from Autophobia which translated literally means “self-fear”. This is not to say that my fears of self-harm are not legitimate and founded. I am a cutter who has been in recovery for nearly 6 months (this time). I say I am in recovery because cutting like alcoholism is an addiction. So, just as an alcoholic is just one drink away from a drunken stupor, I am just one razor blade away from another trip to the hospital. I refer to myself as a cutter, but self mutilator may be a more accurate phrase. If you give me a knife, I will probably cut myself with it. If you give me a gun I am liable to shoot myself, if you give me a pencil I just might stab myself in the fucking eye with it. I can’t trust myself with even the most mundane of things. Of course I don’t drive, for fear I will swerve into a guardrail or worse another vehicle. I eat only soups and finger foods that require no cutting and not so much as a fork. My expanding waist and equally expanding ass are both products of my terrible, but necessary diet…


Becoming Free

Time to retreat
Time to flee
Time to turn
Your back on me
Back to my hole
Back in my shell
Back in darkness
My personal Hell
Cut my losses
Cut all my ties
Cut all the shit
It was all lies
I showed weakness
I showed my heart
I showed I’m human
And you tore me apart
Dying alone
Dying to cry
Dying to end it
Just want to die
Bleeding for you
Bleeding for me
Bleeding to death
Time to be free